The NOVA Experience: Week 13

It's so crazy how as a Christian, one's prayer life directly correlates with one's physical life. What I mean by that is, when I find myself getting through the day without praying, I find the quality of my life being dull, uninspired, and hazy. Too often, I get in these weird funks where my prayers lack sincerity. I go through the motions as a Christian, but my heart is simply checked out and it is in those times that I'm lukewarm.

What's amusing is, I'm writing about this right now, meaning I know the answer, but I'm not actually changing myself to improve. Theory and application are two very different things. Prayer is so incredibly important as a Christian because not only is it a conversation with God, but it is a conversation with yourself. Introspection. Heart check. All such difficult tasks to fulfill in our seemingly fast-paced lives. I wish my heart had some sort of undying flame, like Napam, but sadly I'm weak and human, my logs of wood only last so long.

I wonder how disappointed God must be when I reject Him from my life KNOWING He's right there. The greatest one-sided love. How foolish I must look when I choose to find comfort in immediate short-lived things when I KNOW the greatest comfort of all is in Him. It's surely worse to know better, I'd rather be ignorant. For me, when I refuse God, it's because of fear. I'm scared to see the dirty truth within my heart. I cower over what God is going to reveal to me when I pray. How stupid am I...

Don't you know the character of God? All God is asking of you is to come to Him. That's literally it. You don't need to meet Him halfway because you don't have anything to give. Understand that you NEED Him, lift your veil of pride, and come exactly as you are. Pray without fear.

This whole post was freely written. My thoughts were all jumbled and I came to these convictions literally as I was writing. Coincidentally, I had a dilemma of working my Friday shift (biggest money day) or attending Friday Fire (S&L monthly prayer/praise night). It looks like my answer is pretty clear.

I may sound frustrated in this post, but in actuality, God has been so good. The past couple weeks my best friend came for the weekend to see me and my amazing family drove all the way down for Thanksgiving. And next week, I have two more friends flying all the way from Boston to visit. I'm a lucky guy and so thankful that God gave me an SOS when I needed it. I'm just disappointed in myself when God blesses me so fully but I return so little. But hey, what do I have to give back? Nada. I've got a long road ahead me.

Stay Prayerful,
Will Cheon

The NOVA Experience: Week 10

When someone asks you how you've been doing, I've realized the worst thing you can say is, "okay." Not good, not bad, just okay. Everyone hates lukewarm water. It's not hot, not cold, it's like a confused child. For a while, I had become content with life. Cruise control mode. I left hangouts with friends happy, but an empty happiness that confused me on my drives back home. When I worked at church, I said the right things and felt good about it temporarily, but it didn't fulfill me. While serving tables, I put on a smile and carried energy out of necessity, but behind that smile was exhaustion. How was I feeling exactly? Eh, just okay.

The cliche that one must experience the lows to appreciate the highs is a true one. It's better to feel something genuine at the least, even if it stinks. When you hit the dumps, let it humble you, then seize the energy to trust in the Lord and get through it. When you reach the highs, let it soak in and appreciate the moment for what it is, God's blessing. 

I went on a hike this past Wednesday and I exchanged life stories with a friend of mine. After sharing mine, I forgot my own unique life rollercoaster. You don't remember the boring straight lines, you remember the highlights when thinking of your past. God had built me up to this point to be the guy I am today through trials and blessings. It's the only way to get through our thick human skulls. After coming to this realization, I found that I wasn't doing okay, because lukewarm is the worst. I dug deeper into my own heart and saw it in all its ugliness: pride, selfishness, ego, self-reliance. The same vices I've struggled with my whole life. God completely humbled me, saying, "I have EVERYTHING to offer YOU, YOU have NOTHING to offer ME." I was blown away in a seemingly uneventful point in my life on a normal Wednesday. It's these moments that God fortifies your faith. 

When feeling stagnant, snap out of it and look deeper into the muck. Complacency is a facade to the real stuff, your heart is simply not ready to accept it, blinded by pride. Heart check, always.

Stay Grounded,

Will Cheon

The NOVA Experience: End of month 2

Expiration dates. Usually applicable to food items that have a certain shelf life, but also used to talk about finite time periods in a person's life. That's been the buzz word in my head for a while and led me to my first existential crisis here in VA.

It's funny, I felt like an actual carton of milk. Just bought one a few days ago and in black lettering it says, "NOV 14" marking the time when that milk becomes inedible. The reason I felt like a carton of milk was because I knew that by around May 2016, I had to leave this place to start a completely new chapter of life and it put a damper over my head. Questions, particularly how to approach friendships here started dotting my mind as I wondered whether meaningful relationships were a smart idea. I kept saying, don't get attached to something you know is coming to a close, my defense mechanism. I told myself to not focus on my personal relationships with people but to just give myself to the ministry and leave knowing it was a year well spent. It was all so very confusing and made me question what I was doing.

While I was going through this funk, a friend called me out saying she'd give me "the look" every time I used that word "expiration date." She pulled me out of my state of mind and I realized how negative I was being. Like most things in life, I needed a perspective change. Rather than focusing on the expiration date, I had to focus on the present day-by-day blessing to be here in VA. My pastor set me straight too, telling me that he envisioned my time here to be about gaining life experience through the ministry, but more importantly through the community around me. He told me don't think of God's intentions and try to carry them out, don't be all noble and say you're here to leave a lasting impact on the ministry, just be yourself and God will use you and everything he's blessed you with. The moment you "try" to do God's will is the moment you become in a sense, self-motivated, doing things through your own accord.

I hate complicated things (such as expiring milk...bacteria fermenting lactose into lactic acid, the same stuff that makes your muscles burn during a sprint...gross stuff), let's keep it as fundamental as possible here. Be the person God has made you to be and all will be well. Don't dread the future, don't regret the past, just make the most of the present.

Stay Simple,
Will

The NOVA Experience: Week 5 and 6

The more time passes in NoVA, the more surreal it is that I'm actually here. I feel like everyday I'm picking up something new. It can be small like understanding a bit more about myself or big like attending the KCPC Overnight Staff Meeting and getting a crash course in the intricacies of the ministry. The greatest lesson I've learned so far is that "doing ministry" goes so much deeper than 9 to 5. It is truly a 24/7 job because there is ALWAYS something more to be done. A ministry will only go far as it's pastor and staff. Of course there are logistical aspects such as execution on Sundays and official events run by the church, but even the smaller things like fellowship throughout the week or touching base with newcomers are all "doing ministry." Being a solid Christian community isn't just going to church once or twice a week, it's actually doing life together with Christ smack dab in the middle of it all.

KCPC (Korean Central Presbyterian Church) is the largest Korean mega church on the East coast (almost 6000 members). The building looks like an airport, there are golf carts to transport people in the parking lot, there is a legitimate cafe where all proceeds go to missions work, a full-sized basketball court, and restaurant quality lunch is served everyday. The resources of the church is greater than anything I've ever seen. As you can imagine, more resources also means more politics. I can talk forever about the power struggle that can go on in a church but regardless, the capability of KCPC to impact a community is one of a kind. I saw as 800+ people (including me) came out to 5 AM prayer everyday this past week to start the fiscal year. I saw so many help pack 50,000 boxes of food for the poor. I saw as KCPC was a primary voice in the Washington Prayer Gathering yesterday and the number of members that came out to DC to pray for the city. Eye-opening.

I am the co-leader of Hospitality Team at S&L (the English ministry at KCPC) and Pastor Danny personally challenged me to take the team above and beyond. I took it upon myself to make a motley crew of people come together as a team but to be completely honest, its been tough. The reality is, commitment levels are different and schedules clash when involving 9 people with jobs or classes. It became clear that something was missing from this group and it wasn't until my co-leader Gloria threw an idea out there that I identified the problem. We were MISSING GOD. Before, our meetings were primarily logistical execution-based discussion, but she suggested one day to not talk about logistics but rather have prayer partners amongst the team. I couldn't believe I missed something so obvious. As soon as we prayed and shared our struggles with each other, I could visibly notice the comfort level increase during the meeting. I had been so focused on execution that I forgot what really mattered. Serving isn't about execution, it's about heart. Once the heart is right, the execution will follow. So simple, yet sin can easily cloud simplicity. Learning every day. 

Stay Easy,

Will 

The NOVA Experience: Week 4

After hearing back last Thursday and mulling over it, I have officially decided to go to SUNY College of Optometry next Fall! WOOHOO!!!

Anyways, this past week was pretty crazy aside from that piece of news. I got back to NoVA at 10 AM on Saturday and found out I had a full day shift at the restaurant starting from 11:30 -____- it was pretty rough at first but through the grace of God I was able to power through the 10 hour work day. Sunday was more of the same off-beat feeling as I felt disconnected from what was going on in the ministry being away all week and was bombarded with unforeseen things all day. It felt surreal being home in Boston one moment and then all of a sudden being thrown right into the fray the next moment. 

That night, I learned about some sort of supermoon lunar eclipse that had last happened 33 years ago. I got my tired butt to get off my bed to check out this rare spectacle and had the pleasure of watching it with a new friend. The weather forecast said it would be nearly impossible to watch it from the DC area but thankfully, the skies were remarkably clear for about 30 minutes as I watched the supermoon slowly eclipse. That night, I let the moment sink in. On September 27th 2015, I was in Centreville, VA with a unique opportunity to step back from the natural progression of my life and just live unshackled, serving the God who turns the moon red. A year from now, I will be living in Manhattan, NY, studying my butt off for my future career in a city with as much brokenness as there is excitement. By 2033 when this next supermoon eclipse happens, who knows where I will be? Who knows where everyone I care about will be? It was strange to think about, but I realized that regardless of the who, what, when, where, and why, as long as I was still with Christ, I would be alright. Just like He cleared the skies on a "nearly impossible" cloudy night to view the blood moon, He guides me in a life that would be completely impossible to navigate through without Him. God is my unfailing compass. Simple as that. 

Stay Easy,

Will

The NOVA Experience: Week 3

So many thoughts and emotions going through my head right now, all positive though. I just got out of my interview at SUNY College of Optometry and I was completely blown away. Head is spinning!

For those of you who don't know, I am blind in my left eye. It is part of my personal testimony as a Christian and it is what drives me to become an optometrist. Specifically, I want to pursue Vision Therapy and Sports Vision (how I came to this specific field is a crazy story I'll have to write about another time) in the optometric field where my love for sports collides with my professional career. It's an emerging niche field with an unclear road to success but I truly believe God has built me to the person I am to this point to pursue that profession. I went into SUNY without any expectations due to a preconceived notion (I didn't think the competitive nature of NYC would fit my personality), but this notion was quickly shattered. From the get-go I experienced the professionalism (and academic reputation) of the school and the opportunities a city of Manhattan's scale has to offer. 

During the interview, the faculty asked me what I wanted to achieve in 10 years to which I responded with becoming the best Sports Vision optometrist out there. They gave me a quick smile and explained that SUNY optometry was actually built on the principles of Vision Therapy. In fact, most of the faculty there are Vision Therapists. In addition, they just opened a new Sports Vision and Performance Center this semester with Dr. Daniel Laby leading the way. He is a renowned ophthalmologist who has worked for the Boston Celtics (!!!), Boston Red Sox, Beijing Olympics, and multiple MLB teams for decades. My closed mind (fixed on my beloved home Boston) was opened as I began imagining myself in the concrete jungle of NYC.

I've always been a romantic (oolala L.O.V.E. jkjk), meaning I think big and I tend to be optimistic, but I've never ever had a lofty professional dream. Even when I decided to pursue optometry, I couldn't start letting my imagination go wild because the goal never felt imminent. Today was the first day I've ever felt greed for my career. I REALLY wanted this. This feeling I can't quite explain and I understand the double-edged nature of passion professionally, especially when it comes before my passion for Christ. But this past summer during the Cornerstone summer Bible study series, I realized that as a Christian, we are called to serve Him even in our workplaces. I used to think work life and church life were separate, but they really aren't. Where are we going to plant God's flag in our jobs? 

God granted me a spontaneous vacation this week from my busy life in NoVA due to interviews at SUNY and NECO (I accidentally scheduled them in the same week lolol not smart enough to plan that myself) coincidentally colliding with my mom and sister's birthday. Looking at it now, I think He gave me this gift to settle my future plans right now. In response, the impression I'm getting is that in return, He's asking me to give my all to KCPC during the short time I have there. I learned a couple days ago that the ministry had high expectations for me due to Pastor Danny's hype and I felt so inadequate (who am I at 22 to help a ministry of 200 people?), but perhaps He wants me to mature into the guy that CAN fill those shoes. Maybe the man I become during my time in NoVA can remain strong in faith through the chaos that is Manhattan. Maybe. Who knows? Only God. Overwhelmed by Him right now. Living prayerfully. 

Stay Easy,

Will 

The NOVA Experience: Week 2

At the conclusion of my second full week in NOVA, I've realized just how different my life is now. It's like the pace went from an adagio to an allegro (woohoo orchestra) in a blink of an eye. 

I recently started working as a server at Glory Days, a popular local sports bar, and I chose the best time to start too.. opening weekend of the NFL! The restaurant was stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey all weekend and there I was, a rookie in the food industry, getting a crash course in what a busy restaurant looked like behind the scenes. I shadowed servers, worked expo, memorized drinks and the expansive menu, and served tables to conclude my 5 straight days of training. Absolutely crazy stuff (co-workers and customers included). 

On top of this, I've had to put in work for my internship at KCPC. I've been given a fair amount of administrative duties, which has meant putting together the directory of a 200 person ministry. I am also in charge of the Hospitality Team and have been given the task of contacting and developing relationships with the 10-15 newcomers who show up every Sunday, along with the many meetings and social obligations that come with being on the leadership of the ministry.

My life has taken a legitimate 180 and it's been hectic to the point where I haven't really been able to sit back and just think. Writing this post has been my breath of fresh air and I've come to realize that... I'm really enjoying this. 

After the fall of man in Genesis, God gave humans the command to work. Being busy is a good thing. I said in my first post that I came to VA to suffer, but conflictingly God has provided me with enough income to get by, a place to call home, and a solid community within my first week here. I remember asking myself at one point, "where is the suffering?" because everything had seemed to come into place on its own. But then I realized that in a worldly sense, I am in the midst of suffering right now. Working 50 hours a week (6 days/week) at 2 jobs with crappy pay (relative to "real" jobs out of college) and a small room to call home would look like suffering to a lot of people I know. One of the most beautiful things about being a Christian is the perspective it gives you. Hardship becomes opportunities for growth. If you know me, you know that one of my greatest flaws is that I've always tried to get by with as minimal work possible, and I'll admit that. After this second week, I am certain that one of God's intentions for me in NOVA is to mold me into a man that understands the fruits of hard labor. Man was instructed to work and frankly, I've been fortunate enough where I haven't had to work much yet in my 22 years of life. Though there were already times I've felt overwhelmed, knowing that this is God's intention for me has been uplifting and worth working for. 

Stay Easy,

Will

  

The NOVA experience: Week 1

It's been exactly one week since I left Boston to come to a completely foreign land known as NOVA (Northern Virginia). Over the course of the 9 hours it took to get here, it finally hit me that I was leaving the place I've called home for 16 years. Boston was where everyone I loved was. Boston was where growing pains happened. Boston was where I learned how to play guitar and sing. Boston was where I fell in love with basketball. And Boston was where I grew spiritually in my individual walk with Christ. Boston is who I am. Why the heck did I leave? Why did I leave my beloved home where life was good and comfortable? Doubt seriously crossed my mind.

But then, I remembered. My decision to come down to NOVA was simply this: To learn to love God through all things. If there was anything my time in college taught me, it was the condition of my own heart. I saw my personal shortcomings as a man, but failed every time I actually tried to correct them. I felt like God blessed me so much in my life thus far, but I couldn't say with complete confidence that I'd still love Him when (not if) crap hit the fan. I realized I loved God for his works and not just because. That isn't real love, that's a love built off benefit. 

I came down to NOVA in search of suffering. As weird as that sounds, I need it. Similar to how a furnace fortifies gold, suffering fortifies faith. I left my ho-hum life in Boston where I could've worked at a decently paid internship, been with all my friends and family, and served a church I loved, all for what? To work at a blue-collar job living paycheck by paycheck, to have no familiar faces other than my pastor, and to intern at a church I knew nothing about. It's all ridiculous even as I write this, but I know God's got this. I need to know my heart more, to know my strengths and weaknesses as a Christian, and to learn to serve humbly through thick and thin. Just like the biblical story of the 3 men who walked into the burning furnace, I've taken a giant leap of faith into my own personal furnace (it is really hot in VA right now).

Phew, Week 1 has been one heck of a ride already. I honestly came down with nothing set in stone and many would say I was foolish, borderline reckless. My time here has been filled with anxiety due to a lack of structure and I've needed constant prayer for guidance. In just one whirlwind of a week (it's felt like a month), I've already served on a Sunday, found a part-time job and room rental, and started my internship at KCPC. In addition, I've been fortunate enough to be plugged right into the NOVA community as we've had fellowship every single day I've been here thus far and I've probably seen hundreds of new faces. The whole experience can only be taken in stride, but I am grateful for this unique opportunity. On to week 2. 

Stay Easy,

Will